Notes: Lily, Hyacinth, Lily of the valley, orange blossom, incense, honeysuckle, bergamot, lemon, black currant, lavender, orris, leather, carnation, jasmine, tuberose, galbanum, rose, ylang-ylang, pomegranate blossom, patchouli, sandalwood, vetiver, musk, amber, oakmoss, cedar.
The Bottle: A glorified antiperspirant stick. No one is supposed to scream “Grandma” this loudly but Grandpa. *
The Scent: Like being kidnapped, driven to a dark place, tied up, and punched repeatedly in the face by a sleazy flower garden. The lily and carnation come out swinging, and then step back and let the jasmine have at you. When it’s finished, the heavy patchouli and overpowering rose combo get out the thumbscrews before callously leaving you for dead. The entire thing is richly unpleasant, and clearly formulated to torture you and those around you. DON’T DO IT, HONEY. *