The Craving: Melty, smoothly-sweet-ever-so-slightly-bitter-swirl it-around-on-your- tongue-and-savour-it-with-an-almost-pornographic-relish-chocolate. The sort that you’d step over your own grandmother to get, and that instantly sends you into a sensual, finger-licking diabetic coma.

The Solution: Don’t despair, my sugar addicted sisters: salvation comes in the form of Chocolovers, by Aquolina. A charming eau de toilette containing zero calories and the promise of hundreds of hours of enjoyment, Chocolovers will have even the most self-righteous skinny girls sniffing the air speculatively. Divinely aromatic (vanilla, oranges and coriander prop up the chocolate) mouth-watering and tempting, this little baby will fix you up just right, and pull in the opposite (or same, if that’s your aim) sex like industrial strength flypaper. Ignore the daft name on the bottle, and enjoy (ir)responsibly.